Monday, February 17, 2014

Adoption Is NOT For The Faint At Heart

I've heard it said before that adoption is not for the faint at heart. I've also been told to just be ready because once you start walking in God's calling for your life that Satan will do anything to try to throw you off course. So it should have been no surprise when I found out Tuesday that those sayings really do apply to me and not just everyone else.

Sitting at gymnastics waiting for Chloe to finish Tuesday night, I logged onto my Facebook account and saw a notification in my Ethiopian Adoptive Parent Group. I clicked on it and saw where my adoption agency was basically imploding on itself. I couldn't believe what all of these women were saying so I clicked the link that one of them so graciously provided and it took me to the Department of Justice's website. There it was : International Adoption Guide Director arrested with indictments of child trafficking. UGH!! My heart sank into my feet. The room started to spin a little and I just couldn't believe what I was reading. I think I read it 3-4 times.

So, what does this mean exactly? Well, the article basically said that the director and 3 others were involved in taking children from their mothers and posing them as orphans. Then the mothers were either paid off with a very small amount of money or threatened not to tell. Some of the children never even lived in the orphanage. They lived with their families until they were "matched" with a family in the US and then fake papers were made up.

Friends, you have NO IDEA how this has wrecked my heart this week. Not even for us as much as it has for those precious children. These are children we have met and loved on and held and believed were orphaned. These are children who may very well have a mommy and daddy who desperately want them back but are terrified to admit that this horrific crime took place. This is the ugly truth of child trafficking and THIS is not okay.

Now I see why our wait time for a matched child was going to only be 6-8 months instead of the average wait time of 15-24 months. Our agency was stealing babies! It all makes sense now. I asked the hard questions. I asked them how they got their referrals for the babies and all of their answers sounded so good and truthful. I feel very naive, broken, and jaded in this process and it's only just begun. I have shed more tears this week over these kids than I thought possible. I have been angry at the injustice of it all.

But one thing that I have done this week is find comfort from the Word of God. He led me back to a verse that he gave me exactly 5 years ago. EXACTLY... I wrote this note when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. And just like He will care for Chloe and Brody, He will also care for the child that He has already birthed in our hearts.

I pray that every single one of those precious children and their mothers will find that joy.
For the ones that are truly orphans, He promises that He will take care of them and not leave them as such and that is where I feel like we come in. We still feel very strongly that adoption is what God still wants for us and that is what we are going to continue pursuing.

I have called our social worker (home study gal) and informed her of what happened. She gave me incredible tips on finding a new agency and praise Jesus I think we may have found one. I am not going to decide for sure though until we return from vacation. I have it narrowed down to 2 but am heavily leaning towards one over the other. We are moving forward and have our second home study tomorrow! Karen will do the BIG visit where she will interview our kids and spend time in our home all day long just talking with us.

This whole thing does not slow our process down as far as where we are right now. It will slow our process down as far as how long it will take our child to come home. Instead of our baby being here in about 15 months total, it will now be about 24-30 months total. I hate knowing it will take that long, HOWEVER, the wait is worth it knowing that it will be done ethically and for children who really do need forever families.