Thursday, January 5, 2012

Let The Testing Begin...

Since choosing my word, I have been given many opportunities to practice being intentional. Here are a few situations. The first was that I had a horrible nightmare about my brother's upcoming deployment (leaves in the next week). This happened before and during his last deployment too so I should have expected it. Anyways, for the first hour that I was awake, I sobbed, wept, etc... And then, I could just feel the Spirit giving me the Scriptures that tell me to take every thought captive and to think about those things which are only good, true, honest, noble, faithful, etc... At that point, I had a decision to make. I had to be intentional in my decision to focus on the lies and deceit that satan had placed in my thoughts, or focus on the good things that Christ has given us. I wisely chose the second and the Lord blessed that intentional decision and the rest of my day was AMAZING!
The second thing that has happened did so today during my chemo treatment. For about 4-6 weeks now I have been noticing a soreness in my left ribs in my back and occasionally in my collarbones. I assumed it was from being at the YMCA, and tried to place it out of my mind. Well it has gradually become more noticeable and even more painful. Now it hurts to touch the certain places on the ribs. I mentioned this today to my chemo nurse and she immediately went into her "busy mode." She got my oncology nurse practitioner over to evaluate me. We found another extremely tender spot right on the vertebrae in the middle of my spine. I had no idea that it hurt until the pressed on it. She asked me if I could go get a bone scan do see if there are any broken ribs, weakened bones, spread of cancer, etc.... I told her I could if she thought it was really needed which she really did so I got my appointment set and will going back to the hospital in 12 hours to have a 4 hour test done. Thank God that David gave me a Kindle Fire for Christmas. I will have time to catch up and finish Season One Glee! Anyways, I have really been at peace about it for the most part. I am taking those thoughts of fear and metastasis captive and focusing on the fact that I get to catch up on GLEE while I wait for my "photo shoot." I'm focusing on the fact that 2 years ago God told me that I had been healed and I am very easily able to recall that and lean into it.
Well, my drugs are still hanging in my system so I better sign out for tonight. All in all, I give myself an A minus on my intentionality test. I'm trying hard but learning quite often that being intentional is a day by day, sometimes hour by hour decision.


  1. Praying for you daily my friend! I have emailed a couple of times in the past few weeks. Hope they are getting to you! Love and miss you! Amy

  2. AMY!!! Hey! I haven't gotten any emails but i think about you all of the time. I have sent you a few to your aol address but am not sure you got them either. When are you coming back to the US? Miss you and love you too friend!

  3. So what happened with the bone scan?