Thursday, December 31, 2009

Goodbye Decade...Specifically 2009

So, looking back at New Years Eve last year, I would have never imagined that my 2009would have started or ended the way that it has. I think we all view the beginning of a new year as a fresh start with a clean slate. We all go into January 1st believing that better things are to come. But what if that doesn't happen to be the case? What if you were diagnosed with cancer like I was, lost a child like a few friends did, lost a job like our neighbors, or just had a crappy year in general...nothing major happened, but you were hoping for it to.
Well, I'm here to tell you that there is HOPE for ALL circumstances that we are placed in. I'm going to be honest and raw in some of the following statements, but will show you how the Lord responded to me...

1. When I was first diagnosed my heart was hurting so fiercely and God supplied this: Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

2. When I had my mastectomy and they were checking lymph nodes for cancer, I just knew that Jesus was going to clear out my lymph nodes and have them come back negative. I seriously KNEW it. I had more confidence in this than I could even explain, but for some reason, that was not in His ultimate plan for me. But he showed me this during that time Psalm 57:7 - My heart is confident in you, O God; my heart is confident. No wonder I can sing your praises! and... Romans 4:18a - Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping; believing.

3. When nothing was moving fast enough in terms of getting test back so chemo could be started, I was literally ready to throw my hands up in the air, scream and hit someone, God gently reminded me... Isaiah 55:8-9 says: My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts and my ways are far beyond anything you could ever imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts

4. When I was becoming anxious about how God was going to use me and this cancer to minister to others. I felt like I should be doing something/anything, but my body just couldn't do it through the chemo. That's when I was reminded of Psalm 46:10 - Be still and know that I am God.

5. In May when my body was hurting from all of the chemo and I started wondering if this was going to be my path for the rest of my life. God reminded me of a verse that He showed me on the day of my first chemo treatment. Exodus 14:13-14..."Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." The Egyptians in my life are cancer cells.

6. During chemo and radiation, when I needed to remember that He is all that I need and I don't have to do this thing called cancer alone, He reminded me of this: 2nd Corinthians 12:7-10...I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down, what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty. At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that and then he told me, My grace is enough for you. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

7. When I needed the faith in my Lord that he would restore my health and happiness and would probably not only restore it, but give me more of it He gave me this: Psalm 62:5-8 says...Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation my fortress where I cannot be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge and my rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge.

I welcome you 2010 with hope, confidence, and trust that Jesus is going to continue to be faithful to me. I trust that 2010 will be one of the brightest years to date for me as with all of my heart I shine forth the light of Jesus. Bring on the New Year!

3 comments:

  1. this is a wonderful post, kelly! you are a terrific example to all of your faithfulness in trial. i admire you so very much! may 2010 be a wonderful year!

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  2. Happy New Year!!!!!!! Love you sweet friend!
    K

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  3. Kelly, I too believe 2010 is going to be a great year for you. I am so glad that I will be able to be apart of your life from this day forward. Nice meeting you. Amoira

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