Tuesday, October 13, 2009

There's More

There is more about the race that I wanted to blog about the other day, but it was still too fresh and soon to do so. You see, while the race was absolutely perfect in every way as far as the support that was shown for breast cancer survivors and the money that was raised for breast cancer research, there was a part that was very emotionally taxing. I did not expect this at all so I guess that is why it took me by storm and shook me pretty hard. What I am talking about is the people who were there walking with shirts that read "IN MEMORY OF..." or the ones who were walking holding up pictures of their loved one who had died from breast cancer. WOW!!! I was not even thinking about that part of race day even though it's quite obvious, but believe me when I say that I am still thinking of it now and will be for a while.
During the race, we actually got behind one of the families holding up those signs and I leaned over to David and asked him if he would always wear an "in memory of..." shirt when I passed away. And then jokingly I asked him to blow up a huge picture of me and carry it the entire 3.1 miles. What he doesn't know though is that while I was joking about the picture, my emotions at that time were ones of sadness, and despair. My heart hurt for those families and then it hurt for my own family to imagine the kids and David out doing the walks without me there. And then at the end of the race, I met a girl who told me about her family member who had passed away. She had the exact same stage and type of cancer I have and had 2 small children like me. Talk about bringing it back to reality that I could very well die from this awful disease even though I have had the treatments, surgeries, etc... THAT was hard to hear.
 I have tried to put all of those negative thoughts out of my mind and remind myself that I am receiving the best care from one of the best oncologists in the nation.  However, I really need to remember that I am being taken care of medically, emotionally, mentally, and physically by the greatest physician of all - JESUS!!!!

Jeremiah 17: 5-9
Cursed is the strong one who depends on mere humans, who thinks he can make it on muscle alone and sets God aside as a dead weight. He's like a tumbleweed on the prairie out of touch with the good earth. He lives rootless and aimless in a land where nothing grows.
Blessed is the man who trusts God, the woman who sticks with God. They are like trees replanted in Eden putting down roots near the rivers - never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf. Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season.

4 comments:

  1. Kelly...thank you for sharing your honest feelings...I can't imagine what an experience that was for you on Saturday. I am still praying & just adapting my prayers for you, as need be. Now it will be for peace & eternal healing!!
    ~ Leslie

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  2. Dear Kelly, I struggle sometimes with thinking, "Well, I am not even a survivor" (having had reoccurance and mets) and yet, we worship a Lord that is greater than this fallen world, greater than our sin and selfishness and greater than death. The ONLY time Jesus did not heal was when there was no faith (by the people in His hometown) All the rest of us can abide in His love and Peace and, yes, complete healing.

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  3. You are most certainly that second person, planted firmly, it is so beautiful to watch!
    Love you friend! I am personally stickin with us raising these babies together!!!!!
    K

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