Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Break My Heart For What Breaks YOURS!

These song lyrics just won't leave my thoughts tonight. Here's why...A sweet young mom called my SEE Pink co-founder today (that's the name of our new care group) and wanted to meet with us tonight for some support and to have some questions answered. We decided on a fun little coffee shop that was convenient for her and headed there at 5:30. Immediately upon arriving, I knew exactly which one was "L." She had this frightened almost child-like look on her face that I carried on my own face for weeks upon initial diagnosis. She was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and is starting to face the same decisions that I feel like I faced just weeks ago. I could tell that her mind was spinning with questions, confusion, and fear. After introductions and small talk, I found out that she has 2 teenage daughters and is currently in the middle of a divorce. While I cannot relate to not having my spouse there for support, I can imagine what it would have been like to not have anyone to talk me through those scary nights, to comfort me when I broke down in the middle of the day, or to constantly remind me that I was going to be okay. And that is not a pleasant thing to imagine. What I could relate with her on though was the fact that she has 2 children at home and I know her fears in relation to them. I just wanted to hug her neck and tell her that she was going to be okay and that the girls were too (and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't do just that).
Anyways, after sharing information with her and answering all of her questions, we told her what our vision with SEE Pink is and what we'd like to help her with... taking her to appointments, making meals, helping with her kids, answering her questions, and of course praying for her. We told her that we wanted to be as involved as she wanted us to be because we want to make this jouney she has just started to be as stress-free as it possibly can be. She seemed to appreciate it and told us that she would be in touch with us after she makes her appointments with her surgeon. I left her my surgeon's name and my oncologist's name (she is going to Vanderbilt for treatment) and hope that if she chooses to use them that she finds them just as wonderful as I do - I wouldn't trade them for a million bucks :)
So, as we were getting ready to leave, I asked L if I could pray for her, did that, and just immediately felt my heart breaking. My heart was breaking for what breaks Jesus's heart. I know He hates cancer and what it does to His children. I know He sheds tears just like we do because we are His children and He hates seeing us hurt. I also know though that He has healed me and has told me my purpose in having cancer is to be a blessing to others through serving them and to further His kingdom through my story. I find it perfect timing also that today, on my LAST DAY OF RADIATION, that God allowed me to meet L and start ministering to her.
Thank you Lord for allowing me more time on this imperfect earth in order to witness to others about the only perfect thing in life - YOU! I pray that I will be a blessing to others and that You will be glorified in me and through me.


  1. It's so funny that you posted that title. I was reading through Lamentations this week..about how Jeremiah's heart was broken for his people during their trials. I'm so glad that God is using you as an instrument for others!