Saturday, August 8, 2009

Could it Be???

So for the past two mornings at 4 AM the Lord has woken me up for a date with Him. It's been the perfect time both mornings...perfect peace and quiet so I could sit and listen and talk to Him, and a very encouraging time in His Word. But the most exciting part is that I feel like he is FINALLY revealing to me the purpose in my breast cancer. Have I prayed for this? YES! Have I quite honestly begged for Him to reveal this to me? YES. Has there been a long time of waiting? OH YES- since the biopsy came back positive back in January!!! But I never imagined the way that he would reveal His purpose for my life to me. It came in the mail yesterday. A friend of ours sent Chloe a book titled "Mommy Without Hair" and was written as though a 4 year old was telling the story of his mom's cancer and how it affected his family. It was the cutest book and she begged me to read it repeatedly. While reading the book it was seriously like a lightbulb went off and the Lord was telling me that this is what he wanted me to do. No...not write a book although I do LOVE to write. I believe that this blog is a way to fulfill that personal love and hopefully encourage others along the way. Nope there was a particular page in the book that just spoke VOLUMES to me and I think it was the Lord doing the speaking. I don't want to go into too much detail at this time as I am praying for confirmation because the last thing I want to do is jump into something that isn't in His will, but I also don't want to put Him off either. I fully believe though that if this is from the Lord that he will increase my desire even more to do this and provide a way.
During my devotional time this morning, I just looked in my concordance for some verses on PURPOSE. This is what I found. My Bible explains Deuteronomy 1:1-2 like this in the notes "The Israelites spent 40 years on a journey that should have lasted 11 days. It wasn't distance that stood between them and the Promised Land. It was the condition of their hearts. God's purpose went deeper than simply transporting them to a new land. He was preparing them to live in obedience to him once they arrived. What good was the Promised Land if the Israelites were just as wicked as the nations already living there? The journey was a painful but a necessary part of their preparation. Through it God taught the Israelites who He was. He also taught them who they were: people who were fallen, sinful, prone to rebellion and doubt. He gave His people the law to help them understand how to relate to God and to other people. Your spiritual pilgrimage may be lengthy and you may face pain discouragement, and difficulties. But remember that God isn't just trying to keep you alive. He wants to prepare you to live for service and devotion to Him." And then finally in Esther 4:13-14, my notes explain it like this "After the decree for the Jews to be killed was given, Mordecai and Esther could have despaired, decided to only save themselves, or just waited for God's intervention. Instead they saw that God had placed them in their positions for a purpose, so they seized the moment and acted. When it is within our reach to save others, we must do so. In a life-threatening situation, do not withdraw, behave selfishly, wallow in despair, or wait for God to fix everything. Instead ask God for his direction, and ACT! God may have have placed you where you are for such a time as this."
So now the confirmation prayers begin and I 100% believe that God will give that to me sooner rather than later if this is really what he wants me to do. Please pray along with me. This would be a task that I have never done before and I will need to do lots of prep work planning, and research, but I am up for it and know that God will provide EVERYTHING I need.


  1. Dear Kelly, we will pray with you for the Lord to clearly confirm the way He wants you to go. Joe and I, too, have realized that God can and does use, really horrible circumstances to draw us closer to Him. And it is unutterably wonderful to be closer to Him and see and do His will more effectively. To Him be the glory!

  2. Dear Kelly, It is Jennifer Brafford (Conrad)from school. Addie gave me the link to your blog site and I have been reading it since earlier this year. My heart aches for you and all that you have been going through. Although I was young, I can still remember mom going through chemo. You really inspire me. Your faith is unbelievable. I hope to have more faith someday. Your recent blog said that you were going to be visiting your parents soon. I would love to see you. I stopped in on your mom several months ago. She gave me your email address. I have started several emails to you, but have not been able to finish one to send to you. I have so much that we could talk about. Well, I'm blabbing. My email is if you get a chance to drop me a line.