Monday, July 27, 2009


For the past several weeks at church, we have been doing a series called Elements. I missed 2 of the weeks due to just feeling really crummy, but yesterday I was feeling great and was able to go. Praise the Lord! The topic was FIRE and it really hit home with me. Fire can be a positive thing or a negative thing. It can warm you when you are cold, or burn you when you aren't careful. It can destroy a life, or perfect a life. It can end in a beautiful masterpiece, or a bunch of ashes.
At the beginning of this year, I never expected my "element" to be FIRE, but that is what this year has been. It has been a year of burning pain, sadness, and crumbling. Physical pain from the surgeries that have left scars, emotional pain consisting of fear, anxiety, and anger, and the pain of watching and feeling the Lord break me in order to make me. As I have come through this process and am nearing the completion, I can honestly say that I am surviving the FIRE and have become a different person because of it. I have seen and experienced first hand the love and grace of God. I have felt Him turn the fire up, bring it down, place me furthur in and bring me back out. I have felt His comfort and love through every single step of this process and I know that He was always in control of that fire. He was and still is refining me...making me into the girl that He created me to be.
I know that I have a long way to go, but I am so relieved that I am a long way from where I was. I pray that as I continue on this journey that I will not allow the fire to destroy, but instead that it will perfect me into the beautiful masterpiece that God is so lovingly creating.

And as a side note...only 3 more weeks of chemo left!!! Then I get a month off before I start radiation. PRAISE JESUS!!!


  1. good for you! you're awesome! :)

  2. I am confident you will sail through radiation with flying colors :-)