Sunday, April 26, 2009

His Strength

Warning...whining is probably going to be part of this post.

Thursday was my third cycle of the really nasty chemo drugs. Prior to this one, I had done wonderful with them. Very little nausea, very little fatigue, very little anything. And then Thursday happened and I was knocked for a loop. Before the treatment finished, I was so sick to my stomach...totally unexpected. The next day, was okay and I thought I was on the mend, but then Saturday (and now today) has happened and I am not feeling like I expected to. I just really thought that I would be one of the few who do not suffer fatigue like most and who do not get sick, but that's not my story now. I'm praying that this is just a one time fluke and that I will do much better with my next round, but at this point, I cannot even think about going back without tears welling up in my eyes and a feeling of despair welling up in my soul. I want to fight these feelings because I know it's the devil trying to get at me. He's telling me that if I can't get through the third round of chemo, then how in the world will I beat this cancer. I hate that I allow him to mess with my mind and my emotions. I just wish he would back off and leave me alone.

However...I guess in the midst of it all, I go back and just remember what the Lord has told me. This is not my battle to fight; it's His. I do not need to rely on my own strength; I have His. I am a child of His and He cares about me and everything that I am feeling. And finally, He will have the final say with the devil and I can't wait to see Him put the devil in his place - HA! What a glorious day that will be when the devil can no longer have access to us.

I better end sweet Chloe is begging me for a kiss and that is what I call the most perfect medicine.


  1. Please tell me what I can do to make life more fun right now!!!!!!! Coffee, a meal, girl time, praying, praying is a duh, I'm on that!