Tuesday, March 3, 2009

O Happy Day!!!!

Seriously, I am wanting to sing that song so loudly now, but the kidlets are in bed and I don't want to wake them so I'll just hum it to myself and rejoice in the day that I have had!
I went back to my surgeon today to have my drains removed. Wow!!! Can I just say how amazing it feels to have those darn things out of my side?!? I feel so much better now and am just thrilled to be able to take a real shower now and not have to sponge bathe. Ahhh, it's the little things, right?
Anyways, on to more good news. I asked my surgeon today if my ER/PR results were back yet. These are tests run on the tumor to see if the cancer is sensitive to high levels of Estrogen or Progesterone hormones. In women my age...31...they are most always negative which is NOT ideal for someone with breast cancer as they have medicines to take by mouth after chemo is done if you are ER positive. She and I were nearly 100% sure mine would be negative but PRAISE THE LORD, my tumor is sensitive to Estrogen!!! Woo-Hoo!!!!!! I mean seriously, I nearly fell off the exam table when she said the word "positive." I just was not expecting that to be my blessing today. She herself was thrilled for me as this is truly a good scenario for me. I told my dad that the only other time I have been this happy about a a positive test is when we were trying to get pregnant with Chloe and Brody. Who knew that a positive medical test could make someone this happy?
Another bit of good news is that I FINALLY have an appointment with my oncologist at Vanderbilt. I am overly excited about seeing this doctor. She is a specialist in breast cancer treatments, is involved in breast cancer research for new drugs, has been published in 20+ books/magazines/journals regarding breast cancer, and has a huge list of accomplishments and awards in her field. Being a nurse myself, this really is huge to me and provides me with so much peace of mind that she really knows what she is doing and is up on the latest medicines/clinical trials/ etc... I just hope that her personality is what I am expecting it to be. I feel sure it will be though because my surgeon refers patients to her a lot and I just don't think my surgeon would do that if this other doc wasn't up to par.
So, next Wednesday at 3:00 my dear hubby and I will be at the appointment getting all of the details of treatments, staging, etc... I pray for peace, comfort, and some good news during this appointment. I'm excited and just a tad nervous to get all of this new information. It's definitely weird to be on the other side of medical care. I have taken care of lots of kids with cancer, but to be a cancer patient now is really different.

Now one last cool thing about today. I spoke with a lady from the town I grew up in in NC who has had breast cancer herself (it's always nice to speak to those who have been through it). I believe that she is going to become one of my mentors and supporters through this process. Anyways, I emailed her the other night asking her if she ever still fears that the cancer will come back (that's me...already worrying about it coming back when I haven't even started treatment yet). She told me that she does think about it from time to time as that is human nature, but then it's like God supplies her with plenty of other things to focus on and she forgets that little fear. Well, after we talked, I just wanted some Bible time. I started reading in Philippians and this is what I read:
Phil. 3:13B - I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.
God just totally told me what to do about worrying about whether this cancer is going to come back eventually...stop thinking about what has been and just look forward to what He has next for me. I can just see the Lord up there now rolling His eyes, (and possibly even chuckling a little as he knows me so well) going "Kelly Kelly Kelly, you haven't even started your treatments yet and you are already thinking about it coming back in years to come. One step at a time sweet child. I only ask you to do today so stop worrying about tomorrow, next week, and 10 years from now and just do today." Seriously, I can see the Lord doing that an saying those words to me. I love it!!! Thank you Jesus for your patience with me!

So, now would anyone like to join me in a chorus of "O HAPPY DAY?" You may just hear me singing it all night long.

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