Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just Venting...

Warning: Do not read if you do not want to hear any whining.

Now, I am not trying to whine...really I am not. I just need to vent for a paragraph and then I will be better. I mean the point in journaling is to get it all out so I may as well.
The test that I need back to start the wheels in motion is STILL NOT BACK!!! I was told it would be at the latest today before we got it back. However, it didn't happen. I'm so overly disappointed. Just really really bummed. I know that the timing is God's, not mine and I get that and really do respect it. It just doesn't make it any better in this moment. I just want to throw my hands up and scream. However, that won't help so I'm just going to pray through these feelings and keep the hope that the test will be back before my appointment tomorrow afternoon. If not, there is no reason for the appointment and that will be a wasted 4 or so hours.

My Prayer:
Father, I know that there is a really good reason behind this one test not being back yet and I know that You are in control of it so please allow me to feel some comfort. I ask, well beg, that the results will come back before my appointment tomorrow with Dr. Mayer so that we can move forward with treatments. The longer things go without a plan, the more I start to lose hope and I don't want to do that. Satan is really working on my mind now telling me that something is really wrong and that's why the test isn't back. He really knows how to get to me and right now I feel really scared. Please help me to just relax and enjoy this evening with my family. I know that there is a greater purpose behind it so help me not to lose focus and to keep my eyes fixated on You. In Jesus' name - Amen.

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