Saturday, February 14, 2009

Timing and Laughter

I went for my PET scan on Thursday which was the test where they looked throughout the body for more cancer. When my mom and I arrived, the first thing I see was an elderly woman with her daughter in the waiting room. I started to get nervous because it appeared that the elderly lady was wearing a hospital gown...IN THE WAITING ROOM! There is NO WAY I was going to do that. Those things are paper thin and don't cover very well. Luckily, it was just the outfit she had chosen to wear that day and it wasn't truly a hospital gown...just a moo-moo. Next, I hear this lady BURP!!! Like really loudly and not just once, but 2-3 times. The chuckling started. I couldn't help myself. After filling out paperwork, I sat down and heard her daughter starting in on her mom. This was the conversation... "Now just cause you have cancer don't mean your dead yet...you gonna have to get outta the house so people know you're not dead." (I know that spelling is wrong but it's the southern accent they spoke with). I could not believe what I was hearing. OK, the chuckling turned into laughter. I could barely drink my contrast because I was afraid they would make me laugh and I would spew it everywhere. It was the funniest waiting room experience I have had...almost. God knew I was nervous so I think he provided me with a little humor. It truly made me think of the old lady on the Hallmark Cards.
Oh, by the way, the PET scan came back showing that everything is cancer free!!!! The only thing that showed up as cancerous were some lymph nodes near the affected breast but the doctor called me and told me that those nodes lighting up could just be from the surgery that I had. The only way to be sure is to go forth with the lymph node testing as scheduled. THANK YOU JESUS THAT NO OTHER ORGANS ARE AFFECTED!!! And please oh please Lord clear those lymph nodes for me!

Now on to timing. God's timing is perfect. I mean, I already knew that in my head, but I truly experienced it yesterday afternoon and felt it in my heart. I went to Wal-mart to get some groceries and literally in the check-out line my heart started to speed up, my anxiety level started rising and I just felt like I needed to get out as soon as possible. After getting in the car, I tried calling David and a few other friends but no one was home so I had to do this on my own. I just started pleading with God to spare my life. To please not take me away from my babies. To please let me live a long long life. By the time I got home, I was seriously in a panic attack about not seeing my babies grow up. I just knew that I was going to die. I sat in my car in the garage for 10 minutes just trying to compose myself before I went into the house, but I couldn't. The devil was just pounding on me so hard. Thank you Lord that my mom was here to speak truths to me and tell me that I am NOT going to die and that I will see my kids grow up. She spoke truths to me about God's love for me and Chloe and Brody. And after spilling out my emotions to her about how scared, angry, and lonely I felt she continued to provide illustrations from the Bible and reminded me of something I had told her when she was diagnosed with cancer and was going through treatments. Little did I know that it would come back to me as encouragement later on. And...here's the kicker to the story. I received a card yesterday from David's cousin. I got it last night and wouldn't you know...the perfect verse for me and my day was in there. Isaiah 40:11 - He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.
God knew what my emotions were going to be on that day before I was ever made. He knew it and orchestrated everything so that that particular card with that particular verse would arrive on that particular day. Hmmm...can we say perfect timing?!?

1 comment:

  1. chills.............and yes it is almost 3 in the morning, I can't sleep for some reason, maybe God just wants me up to pray for you sweet friend! So know that people are praying you through, even as you sleep tight (hopefully) in CA!
    K

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