Thursday, January 29, 2009

So scared

It is an hour before I am supposed to be at the hospital and I am so emotional and scared this morning. This is the first time since learning of the diagnosis that I have felt anything other than peace and happiness. Maybe that's the problem, I have sort of viewed any other emotion as not being grateful so I haven't allowed myself to feel anything else. But, I also know that Jesus himself had fear and every other emotion that I have and it's not the feeling that's the sin, but how we deal with it that could be. I choose today to pray through these feelings and trust that God will calm me. My mom has a quote on her refrigerator that says "Sometimes God calms the storm, but other times he lets the storm rage and focuses on calming His child." Today is a storm for me, but I know that God will give me His promised peace.

If you read this blog, please pray me through the surgery and recovery. I won't be able to pick up my babies for a while and from what I've been told will be in a good amount of pain since they are having to remove quite a bit of tissue. I think the hardest thing though will be not loving on and snuggling with Chloe and Brody for a while. Especially that little Chloe...she LOVES being in bed with her mama.


  1. Sweet Kelly, I am praying right now for the calming peace of God to flow through you. I'm also praying for David, Chloe & Brody that they will have a calm as well.

    "The LORD is my strength and my shield;
    my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
    My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7

    When you fear scared and weak, just hold up your "shield" and keep fighting, you are NOT alone :) love you Christy Crosby

  2. Kelly,
    I am praying for you now as you are about to enter your procedure. I pray God calms your heart and fears and gives you peace today. I pray that the procedure goes smoothly and that you will be able to hold and snuggle your babies soon. I pray for David, Chloe, and Brody that they will be comforted too. Please know you have so many people who are praying for you and that love you.

    "I am the Lord your God. I am holding your hand, so don't be afraid. I am here to help you." Isiah 41:13

    Amy DiMarco